Asking Eric: We're not old, but the neighbors are acting like we are

Dear Eric: My wife and I are in our early 70s and live in a suburban neighborhood where every person has a dog, or so it seems. As a result, everyone seems to know everyone else.

We are both in good health but have noticed some of the younger unemployed/remote worker neighbors have become a little over complacent. Once, I left a fence gate open, and one of our neighbors discreetly came over and closed it (we knew it was open – no need to keep the gate closed).

Last week, I set up a slowly trickling hose to water a plant that has heat stress from a long hot summer. At one point someone came to the courtyard and turned off the water. This happened again yesterday.

We're fed up with what seem to be ageist assumptions about our cognitive health (we're in good shape; I won an Emmy last year). Our neighbors think they are helping, but as we know, “the best intentions often go wrong.” It's frankly annoying and regrettable. We like our neighbors and appreciate their goodwill, but how can we stop this intrusive behavior?

– Neighborhood Watch

Dear Neighbor: Congratulations on your Emmy! Can I just tell you: I finally enjoyed reading that part of your letter and I'm so glad you included it. In the future, if any of the letter writers have won any major awards, I would like to know, please. EGOTs, start typing.

Now, to the problem. I think the “dog in an air-conditioned car” approach might work here. You know how sometimes people leave their dogs in their cars while they shop but put a sign in the window that says “Dogs have water, AC and listening to Led Zeppelin”? It's meant to reassure passing good Samaritans that they don't need to break the window and rescue the dog.

Similarly, if you leave a hose running, you may want to leave a sign near it that says “Hose is watering plants; please do not disturb.” You can add “the tree is listening to Led Zeppelin” if you want.

Ageism can be helpful to your neighbors. Or it could just be misguided enthusiasm. The best way to find out is to talk to them a little more. You can correct any assumptions they make about your sharpness. And, as a bonus, you can casually mention that you have an Emmy.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.

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