Jimmy Kimmel Chides Trump for His Debate Performance

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67 Million to 1

Despite public sentiment suggesting otherwise, Donald Trump said he came out on top after Tuesday’s debate, while also asserting it was rigged against him.

On Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel said that more than 67 million Americans watched the debate on television last night — “and of that 67 million, the only one who seems to think Trump did a good job is Donald Trump.”

“I had a liberal elite day today. I woke up, I ate a big cat for breakfast, then I had a baby, then I had an abortion right after that, and then I went to pick up my kids from their mandatory transgender surgery operations after school. And now, I’m back here spreading Marxist propaganda on TV. That’s how we do it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Last night, Kamala Harris and Donald Trump took to the debate stage to make their cases to Taylor Alison Swift and whoever else happened to be watching.” — JORDAN KLEPPER

“Trump was like, ‘See? She’s eating her cat.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Trump this morning responded to the Taylor Swift endorsement and said, ‘Not a fan.’ But I have some bad news: his granddaughter, Arabella, Ivanka’s daughter, two months ago had a Taylor Swift cake for her birthday. So eat that, Grandpa.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Really, Donald? You prefer Brittany Mahomes? What’s your top five Brittany Mahomes songs? Is this really his angle? ‘Well, I don’t care, Taylor, because I like your boyfriend’s co-worker’s wife better.’” — JORDAN KLEPPER

The Bits Worth Watching

The “Late Night” writers Amber Ruffin and Jenny Hagel returned for another “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell” segment on Wednesday.

What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night

The “Agatha All Along” star Sasheer Zamata will appear on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”

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