For One Direction fans, Liam Payne's death is a 'watershed' moment

Elena and Vanessa Robustelli listen to One Direction so much that eight years after the boy band broke up, its songs still feature on their annual Spotify Wrapped list.

But on Wednesday, the 25-year-old twin sisters said the music they usually turned to for comfort had become a source of grief after news broke that band member Liam Payne had died aged 31.

“It's really hard,” said Vanessa Robustelli, who lives in New York City. “What do you do with sadness when you don't know but you have this dull ache in your chest?”

Payne's death came as a shock to thousands of fans of One Direction, known as the Directioners, who never expected to lose their idol at such a young age. Payne fell from the third floor of a hotel in Argentina, local authorities said.

Many One Direction fans were tweens and teenagers when the band debuted in the early 2010s on the heels of its appearance on the UK reality competition show “The X-Factor.”

To them, Penn's death was a “waterless moment”—one that both reminded them of their youth and suddenly made them feel like adults.

“I don't know if I'm necessarily grieving Liam as a person, but what a symbol this is for my generation,” said Valerie Buvat de Virgini, 25, who lives in Madrid. “It feels like such a watershed moment and such a turning point. … Reckoning with the idea of ​​death is terrifying, and knowing that I've spent half my life loving this band is crazy.”

As news of Payne's death spread online, group chats and fan accounts dedicated to One Direction – some of which had been inactive for years – began buzzing again.

“I had over 200 missed text messages and I just froze,” said Olivia Hagans, 25, of New York City. “I didn't even know what to say. It's just shocking, and I cried a little last night because I was sad for my teenage years.”

Paine's death also stirred feelings about the legacy he left behind. Some have said the band led them to careers in the music industry, social media or other creative fields. Others said they met their best friends because of their shared love for the group.

Some commentators have compared Penn's death to that of John Lennon for Beatles fans, citing similarities in the fervor surrounding the bands and the intense support from their fans.

Logan Hill, 27, said the community of fans “the most important thing” that came from the band's existence.

One Direction fans are considered the originators of the modern Stan Twitter, a community of diehard fandom at X that began to organize in the early 2010s. Directors used the platform to interact with the band, get it trending online and organize as fans.

“I'm traveling all over the country going to concerts with people I met on Twitter,” says Hill, now X. “I know people all over the world because of them.”

But some fans shared more complicated feelings about Payne, saying it was hard to grieve him when dealing with recent allegations about his personal life.

In the days before Payne died, his ex-fiancée, Maya Henry, alleged that he repeatedly contacted her and her relatives. “Ever since we broke up, he would message me, blow up my phone. Not just from his phone; It always comes from different phone numbers too, so I never know where it's coming from,” he said in an Oct. 6 TikTok video.

The Daily Mail has spoken to his lawyers and says Henry has issued a cease and desist letter to Payne. His attorneys did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

Henry, 23, whose relationship with Payne ended in 2022, wrote a novel called “Looking Forward” about a girl who falls in love with a charming pop star. The book contains a content warning as it deals with abortion, abuse, violence, self-harm, substance abuse and eating disorders. He says it's “inspired by true events.”

Henry's representatives declined to comment.

Amy Miller, 27, said the community gave each other a “safe space” to process the positive and negative emotions that came with Penn's death and the ordeal she had previously experienced.

As fans and band members grew up together, Miller said, it became clearer that the group members were so young.

Miller, who lives in London, said Payne “has had a lot of time to potentially turn things around and get the help he needs and be accountable and have some positive impact going forward”.

Many said it was bittersweet to see the online mentoring community come together for the first time in years over such devastating news.

“You're grieving for that person in the same place where you were obsessed with them and you constantly tweeted about them and you wanted their attention and you gave all this energy online just to love them,” said Nyla Graham, 26. Nyla Graham, 26, who lives in New York City. “It's a strange experience to now use the same forum to express grief.”